pretrip: in just about a month from now..

I really couldn't have imagined that the summer would be flying by in the manner that it has been up to this point. There's the huge part of me that is so thankful because even though I've only been decided on this trip for about 6 or 8 months, it seemed like it was going to be the longest 6 or 8 months of my whole life. but the summer, since I started at camp.. it's been a flash.
my Visa was officially approved last week. meaning that I am now officially going to New Zealand. really, that had been, at least to me, a giant roadblock. I could think and dream about going all I wanted - hell, even bought some expensive, non-refundable plane tickets to the place - but I still wasn't cleared, it wasn't for sure that I could go. but now, it's alllll certain. there isn't anything but my own nerves standing between me and this new country. besides those mind-numbing flights. speaking of.. what does one do on those sort of flights? I find myself growing stir-crazy enough flying across Canada. it's going to prove tricky to find things to occupy myself when I'm flying backwards over the ocean.

I haven't hit that "Oh my God, I don't know if I can do this" wall yet that I have heard so many independent travellers before me come to. I'm sure that once work is finished (which is in two weeks.. YAY!) that I might find my mind wandering a bit more than it has been lately. I'm thinking about going a lot now, but it's not something I have the luxury to sit back and obsess over when there's 30 kids all standing thisclose to my face going, "Kiwi? Kiwi? Kiwi?" (cute nickname, huh?)
Once or if it does hit, can someone remind me that I'm a loser for being scared about this? Remind me that this could be a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and I should relish every moment leading up to it - including the ones that make my heart beat faster.